Return of the Trickster by Eden Robinson

Author:Eden Robinson [Robinson, Eden]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780735273481
Google: ImXvDwAAQBAJ
Publisher: Knopf Canada
Published: 2021-03-02T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

—

Kota showed up and sat on the desk chair. No smart remarks or greetings. Didn’t pull out his phone. Didn’t ask if he needed anything. Mave came in with another glass of water.

“Can you get him to take this Ativan? He’s not listening to me.”

“Aunt Mave,” Kota said. “That shit’s more addictive than booze.”

“My doctor gave it to me for panic attacks. It’s just something that calms you down. It’ll help him sleep through this.”

“How many did your doc give you?”

“Six. I can get more.”

“He only gave you the six because they are as addictive as hell. It’s like you’re trying to give Jared meth.”

Silence. Then Mave frowned. “Maybe we can get him to a dry-out.”

“He’s not that bad.”

“He’s suffering.”

“Mave,” Jared said. “I’m fine.”

“See?” Kota said. “Besides, there’s waiting lists. There’s hoops to jump through. By the time he gets into rehab, he’ll be dried out and getting his next one-year chip.”

“You aren’t fine. Maybe we should bring him to emergency.”

“No,” Jared said.

“Aunt Mave, give your bottle of Ativan to Justice to keep at her place. Now.”

“But he might need it.”

“When the cravings hit, you get tired and you get weak and you’re making it easy for him to slip.”

“Oh,” she said, meeting Jared’s eyes.

“Take a break,” Jared said. “Go for a walk. It’s just something I need to get through. I like it that you care. I’m just…I…need some space to feel shitty without worrying that you’re worried.”

Mave nodded. She reached over and smoothed Jared’s blanket. “I’ll be back.”

“Love you,” Jared said.

“Love you more,” she said.

Kota waited until Mave left the room before he rolled his eyes so hard Jared thought they’d disappear. Sarah came in a few minutes later.

“Mave’s taking us out to dinner,” she said. “Want anything?”

Jared shook his head and then added, mind to mind: Don’t leave her.

I won’t.

“Want anything, Kota?” Sarah said.

“A single beef patty and a garden salad, no dressing.”

“Got it.”

“Thanks.”

“Later.”

He heard Mave and Sarah laughing as they got ready. The blow-dryer whirring. Quiet music playing in Mave’s bedroom. Traffic humming outside. People on the sidewalk.

After they left, Kota asked if he would be okay while he smoked on the balcony. Jared nodded. Time passed. Hours or seconds. Kota returned and sat in the desk chair, not looking at him, not checking his phone, not sighing with impatience or trying to get him to eat or drink. Kota stared off as if he was in a movie and someone had given his character bad news and he was hurt but taking it bravely. A part of Jared that had been tensed eased. He could be a miserable lump without any pressure to pretend he wasn’t one.

Eventually, Jared went to the bathroom and Kota went for another smoke while he peed. They both reassumed their positions.

“You can dry out at my place if you want,” Kota said.

“It’s almost over,” Jared said.

“Don’t bullshit a bullshitter.”

“Bad habit.”

“Yeah. They mean well.”

“I know.”

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